went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A bitchslap is in order.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
