Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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