This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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