I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
