I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
