the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
