I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
