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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace

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• (081): View more from

  KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again

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