So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
