I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
