So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
