How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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