I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is it because I queefed?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We're too hungover to prance.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
