I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
