so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
