That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
