Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
