I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
