You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
