This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
