in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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