and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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