Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
