The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
