if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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