Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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