Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
