we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
