it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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