No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
