and next time when you feel me up, do it right
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
