how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
