I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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