He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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