the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
