shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
