Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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