I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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