After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
