K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
