You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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