My room smells like vodka and shame
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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