I am puke
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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