quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
