We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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