yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
