kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
