there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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