i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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