i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
