new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
